Abigail's MRI

I've been putting off writing these posts because it's difficult for me to look at these pictures and because I don't really know what to say.  I'm back dating them to December so they show up in the 2017 posts folder, but I'm actually writing these in late January, over 2 months after the fact.  Everything from back then seems an unreal blur, but I'll do my best to document how things unfolded. 

Abigail's MRI was scheduled for Thursday, November 16, at 1pm.  We were told to arrive at the hospital by 11am and check in at the Pediatric ICU.  Unfortunately, since the MRI was to be under sedation, that meant that Abigail couldn't eat anything that day.  So by lunch time, she was plenty hungry!

Andrew and Eve went off to school that morning and then Candace watched the kids while I took Abigail to the hospital.  Andrew had a break from classes during the middle of the day, so he met us there.  Abigail was kept (partly) distracted from her hunger by the TV in her room!

Relaxing with blankie, waiting for things to get started!

Around 11:45, the nurse applied numbing cream in preparation for the IV.  They weren't sure how many tries it would take to get a good poke in her, so they numbed four different areas.  Abigail thought it was cool!

The doctors and nurses did so well with her!

Letting the numbing cream do it's thing....

We had a lot of time to kill before they took her down for the MRI, and she was definitely hungry and thirsty, so we did lots of silly pictures as further distraction.  

Daddy's sitting on Abigail's lap!

Abigail wanted a turn to take some!

Shortly after 12:30, they came to place the IV because the MRI folks were ready for her!  She did great!  The nurses tried to keep her distracted so she didn't see the IV going in, but she was very interested in what they were doing to her arm and wanted to watch.  That numbing cream certainly did it's job - I don't think she felt a thing, but she sure enjoyed watching what they did.  

They couldn't believe how well she did and how happy and adorable she was through the whole thing!

Just a couple minutes later, they put the sleepy meds through the IV and Abigail was out in about 10 seconds.  The put on a breathing tube then she was ready to head downstairs.  

It was not fun to see her like this!  

One last picture before they took her back.  There was a waiting room right by the MRI area where I set up camp and Andrew took off to head back to school for his afternoon class.  

We had been told to expect about 1 - 1 1/2 hours.  A little after the hour mark, the doctor from the PICU came out to talk to me.  He asked where Andrew was and if he was coming back.  I told him Andrew was at class and hadn't planned on coming back since I was going to take Abigail home after the MRI and we weren't supposed to review results (with the ENT who ordered the MRI) until after Thanksgiving.  He gave me a funny look and suggested I see if Andrew would be able to return that afternoon?  He said he wanted to review the MRI results with us and it would be best if we were both there.  That sure freaked me out!  Not in our wildest dreams did we think that anything would actually be wrong.  I remember calling some friends, my mom, and Kelly, hoping they could help me remain calm.  Andrew skipped class and returned to the hospital to wait with me.

Oh, and the doctor said they also decided they needed more images so it would take longer than they had originally thought.  Andrew and I sat there sweating it out in the waiting room for what seemed like an eternity.  At one point, I remember the PICU nurse coming to check in with us and we asked her, "Is there something wrong?"  She was hesitant to talk about it, but said that they had found a "questionable spot" so were doing the additional images, calling in some specialists, and that it would still be a while longer.  

The MRI ended up lasting from 12:45 to almost 3:30.  When they finally brought her out, we walked back up to the room with her, then were told a neurosurgeon would come and talk to us.  

Since it would take a few minutes for Abigail to wake up, we went into the conference room right next to her hospital room and sat down with the PICU nurse and Dr. Belirgen, the neurosurgeon.  He brought up images from the MRI and told us they'd found a "lesion" on the back of her head next to the brain stem.  I asked him what that meant and he said the word "tumor".  I don't remember things too clearly after that.  I remember grabbing Andrew's hand and squeezing it really hard and I remember that I didn't cry.  He said based on appearances, it didn't need to be an emergency surgery but he would need to surgically remove it.  I asked when and was shocked when he said he'd like to do it the next day.  He said while it wasn't an emergency, it needed to be removed and there was no sense in waiting since it could cause problems at any time.  I also remember asking how dangerous the surgery was and he replied that he was 80% confident he could remove it without any problems or complications.  

With our minds reeling, we returned to be with Abigail when she woke up.  She was a little grumpy at first, but was excited to have blankie, her water, and to be able to eat!

As Abigail woke up, we realized we needed to notify family, most especially to figure out a way to contact Andrew's parents on their mission in Brazil.  Andrew got on his phone and tried to work through the mission department to find them, and I had the thought to try Facebook.  It was 4:08pm our time, which means it was evening in Brazil, and I sent Connie a message: "We need to talk to you immediately.  Can you contact us in some way?"  Connie just happened to be online and replied almost immediately and we were able to video chat through Facebook.  As soon as the video connected, I started crying (for the first time since getting the news) and wasn't able to talk, so I passed my phone to Andrew.  He wasn't able to speak either, just looked at his parents, trying to stay composed.  I took the phone back and managed to say something like, "They found a tumor and are operating in the morning" before I broke down again.  I remember Connie crying too, but not much else.  We talked with them for a few minutes and promised to keep them updated.  I know they received permission from their mission president to remain online almost constantly the next several days to stay connected with Abigail's progress.  

The other calls were no easier, to my parents, Kelly, other siblings, and friends.  Maybe after the 4th or 5th time, I was able to say the words without crying.  Everyone was so supportive and wonderful, a theme for the next couple of weeks.

Since the MRI was more intense than originally planned (and was with and without contrast), they had needed to place a second, bigger, IV in her left arm during the MRI.  Having both arms boarded made it difficult to maneuver!  

They took the board off one arm so she could eat :)

Since surgery was scheduled for the following morning, they just wanted to keep her overnight so they wouldn't have to redo IV's and everything in the morning.  And she wouldn't be able to eat again after midnight or so.  All in all, Abigail was in cheerful spirits!  We told her the doctors found an ow-ie in her head and would fix it the next day.  

Andrew made arrangements to stay at the hospital with Abigail that night (and even brought her some Oh's to snack on that evening!).  I went home, only to find out that Andrew had asked two brothers from our ward to come give me a blessing after they had stopped by the hospital to give Abigail one.  Candace was there with me (the kids were all in bed - thank you, Candace!) and she later helped me recall some of what was said.  She did make me laugh because the men asked who I would like to have give the blessing and I said I didn't have a preference so Brother Basset said he would do it.  As soon as he began, I felt a feeling of peace and calm that remained throughout the blessing.  Candace said it sounded like a funeral talk and her first thought was, "Is it too late to ask the other brother to give the blessing instead?"  I don't remember everything that was said, but I remember that he said that this was happening at this specific time for a reason, as in even on that particular day.  He said to take confidence in the doctors and in the plan of salvation.  To remember all the wonderful memories of Abigail in our family and to know that she would always be a part of our family.  And I remember that he said as hard as this is, there were worse things ahead to be prepared for.  

I was fully expecting to not be able to sleep, but took some melatonin and slept through the whole night!  Cora, who gets up EVERY night for milk, slept all night too.  It was definitely a blessing from Heavenly Father!